Greetings All. I have been asked many times over the years to post these, but they were saved on my old computer that died. I just got asked again, and my new computer just *happens* to have my old slave drive plugged in, so here you go. These were our self-written wedding vows, which Rick and I said to one another back on 10-31-09 at the stroke of midnight on Halloween. Now that we're coming up on 3 years married, just passed 6 years together, and will have known each other 17 years come March, it seems somehow appropriate to post them for all the world to see! :) Enjoy!
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Dearly beloved... and the rest of you. We gather here to say our goodbyes to sanity and logical reasoning. Marriage is what brings us together today. As you know, we're all mad here, Rick and Fer especially, so I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey...
Thirteen years ago, these two turkeys met at auditions for The Rocky Horror Picture show in Orlando, Florida. Since then, they have been inseparable, the best of friends, with the on-running joke: nobody messes with the twins! Their friendship opened up a whole new world of fun and adventure, just waiting to be explored. When traveling on the highway of life, you never know what lies around the next curve. From 3am driving adventures, to Walt Disney World, to dirt roads, to hiking in the Smokies, when you're with them, you have to wonder: why can't we spend a normal day together?
After ten years of friendship and three years of dating, they finally decided to boldy go where no man has gone before... into a happy marriage. True, that he's no Prince Charming, and she can be quite an Ogre some days, but through it all, they've found serenity, and the rest of us wondered, what took 'em so long? And now that we've arrived at a good place, morally, ethically, gramatically, let me just say, I'm not even supposed to be here today! But, when Rick and Fer asked me to perform their wedding ceremony, I said, as you wish. Let's do this thing we shall! They didn't want a fancy wedding, so they considered their options carefully. To save on costs, Rick first suggested a Betazed wedding. Fer told him she'd rather kiss a Wookie. Then, they decided they should elope to someplace secluded, maybe take a walk in the woods, until their long time friends threatened to bring them back dead or alive (preferably dead). Finally, they decided on this, because there ain't no home like the one you've got. What better place to start their life together than here, and when better to start it than their favorite holiday? After all, this is Halloween, the perfect time for ghouls and hobgoblins and witches, and all manner of creepy, kookie, mysterious, and spooky haunts! After the ceremony, we invite you to be our guest for a spooktacular reception. We simply ask everyone to watch your head, and keep your hand at the level of your neck! You never know who or what may be lurking around these dark passages! Also, I have been instructed to inform you that if you do not sign the guest book, I'm going to cut your heart out with a spoon! (Fer/Rick - Why a spoon, dear cousin?) Because it's dull you twit! It'll hurt more!
But now, in all seriousness, the time has come, my little friends, to talk of other things. Do you have the precious? I mean, the rings? These rings symbolize the neverending story of the commitment that these two have for one another. In this perfect union, this blessed arrangement, the rings represent the endless circle of life and love... true love... that these two share. If anyone knows of any reason these two should not be wed, please see the large, armed men standing in the back. Seriously, speak now, or forever rest in pieces. Very good class.
Richard. Place the ring on Jennifer's finger, and repeat after me.
I, Richard Damon Young, take you, Jennifer Ann Roberts, to be my lawfully wedded wife. From this day forward, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, to death and beyond. I promise to to love, cherish, and keep you, and to support you in all things, forsaking all others.
Jennifer. Place the ring on Richard's finger, and repeat after me.
I, Jennifer Ann Roberts, take you, Richard Damon Young, to be my lawfully wedded husband. From this day forward, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, to death and beyond. I promise to to love, cherish, and keep you, and to support you in all things, forsaking all others.
(Fer - Really, really? Rick - Really, really.)
OK. Before I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Richard Young - the short short version: Do you? (Rick - yes). Do you? (Fer - yes). Good, you're married. Kiss her. (kiss) By Grapthar's hammer, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may proceed with the execution. (throw packets)
Quote & Reference Sources:
Rent - "Dearly beloved, we gather here to say our goodbyes"
The Princess Bride - "Marriage is what brings us together today."
Alice in Wonderland - "We're all mad here."
Rocky Horror - "I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey"
Star Trek - "to boldy go where no man has gone before"
The Fox and the Hound - "the best of friends"
Transformers - "Nobody messes with the twins!"
Aladdin - "a whole new world"
Cars / "Life is a highway" - "Life is the road that we're traveling on"
Twister - "Why can't we spend a normal day together?"
Beauty and the Beast - "true that he's no prince charming"
Shrek - ogre reference
Firefly - Serenity reference
Pirates of the Caribbean - "now that we've arrived at a good place, morally, ethically, gramatically"
Clerks - "I'm not even supposed to be here today!"
The Princess Bride - "as you wish."
Role Models - "Let's do this thing we shall."
Star Trek - Betazed wedding reference
Star Wars - "rather kiss a Wookie"
Twister - "take a walk in the woods"
The Three Musketeers - "dead or alive, preferably dead."
Bolt - "There ain't no home like the one you've got."
The Nightmare Before Christmas - "This is Halloween"
"The Cockroach that Ate Cincinnatti" - "ghouls and hobgoblins and witches"
The Addams Family - "creepy kookie mysterious spooky"
Beauty and the Beast - "Be our guest"
Sleepy Hollow - "Watch your head!"
Phantom of the Opera - "Keep your hand at the level of your neck!"
Dark Passages - reference to our LARP
Robin Hood Prince of Thieves - "I 'm going to cut your heart out with a spoon! Why a spoon, dear cousin? Because it's dull you twit! It'll hurt more!"
Alice in Wonderland - "the time has come, my little friends, to talk of other things."
LOTR - "the precious"
The Neverending Story - title reference
The Princess Bride - "This blessed arrangement"
October Project - "Endless Circle"
The Lion King - "Circle of Life"
The Princess Bride - "love... true love"
Tai Kwan Leap / Boot to the Head - "Very good class."
Shrek - "Really, really? Really,really."
Space Balls - "OK, the short short version: Do you? yes. Do you? yes. Good, you're married. Kiss her."
Galaxy Quest - "By Grapthar's hammer"
The African Queen - "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may proceed with the execution."
(42 quotes and references = the ultimate reference to the ultimate question of life the universe and everything - Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
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